Sibling connection
Sylvie Rousseau and Cat Main worked together to create the Sibling Jam group.
Sylvie Rousseau and Cat Main met many years ago at a Sibling Support Group for siblings of people with developmental disabilities sponsored by The Neurological Center (now called the Center for Ability) in Vancouver. They did not maintain contact but as chance had it, they met again in their teens through a mutual friend.
“It was Cat who recognized me,” smiles Sylvie. “We even got our hands on some old video of the two of us at age seven in that group.”
Reconnecting as adults who had shared this childhood experience gave the two young women much to talk about.
“We were so amazed at the commonalities in our experiences as sisters to someone who has a disability. Even though our two sisters (Noella and Kirsteen) are very different people, it made us wonder about who else we could connect with to explore this idea.”
Although they found groups that were organized in the United States, Britain, Australia and Italy, there were no organized sibling groups for adults in Canada.
That was when the idea of Sibling Jam started to take shape. The idea was to create a group that appealed to people who were between the ages of 20 and 50, but certainly open to participants of all ages if they came forward.
As the two began to dream about what a group might look like, they drew on their past education and work experience in community living, expressive arts, peer counselling, teaching and group facilitation, as well as their future goals: this September Cat will be an Expressive Arts Therapy student at Langara College and Sylvie will be starting the Occupational Therapy program at UBC. The idea of using art related activity as a basis for peer connection was a natural fit for both of them.
In May of this year, they held a one day gathering in Vancouver. The day was a resounding success. As one participant reported, “I learned a lot about myself through the exercises and the conversation. I learned that I was not alone, and that was a big relief.”
Cat and Sylvie worked hard to create a space where people would feel safe and supported to express themselves honestly. The day included storytelling, collage work, writing and drama exercises. Participants were also asked to bring an object that reminded them of their unique growing up experience. This gave everyone a great conversation starter and led to many interesting discussions.
Sylvie and Cat guided the group through each activity in a way that was designed to deepen connection and support people to acknowledge both the positive and negative experiences in their lives.
The overall philosophy for Sibling Jam was to create space for honest conversation and the possibility for connection. “We wanted to be together in a non judgemental and supportive way and to have the ability to be honest about our feelings and experiences. Art was just the tool that we chose to use to facilitate this,” says Sylvie.
Sylvie explained that the group got to share wisdom and knowledge common to the experiences of siblings. Throughout the day it also became clear that each group member had their own unique experiences and could be a resource and a wealth of information for other siblings.
Many siblings worry about the future and the possibility of one day supporting their brother or sister with a disability, one of the group members was able to share about living with and supporting her adult sibling.
“This was an awesome opportunity to hear from someone actually doing this. What it’s like, what the challenges are, and also the joys,” says Sylvie. “It’s something I have wondered about over the years. What that might be like and whether that might be my future as well. Listening to that story was incredibly enlightening and empowering for me.”
Although Sylvie and Cat know that returning to school in September means a very busy schedule, they are both committed to continuing on with Sibling Jam. They feel that the project is just at its beginning stages and has a lot of potential to grow and evolve.
As Sibling Jam is a sibling driven project, Cat and Sylvie are encouraging feedback and ideas from fellow siblings. Sibling Jam has a Facebook page where you can find information about upcoming events.
The next events take place in the fall and will be a chat group on the evening of Tuesday, October 25 and a full day workshop Sunday, October 30.
To learn more, please visit www.facebook.com and search for “Sibling Jam”.
Sylvie and Cat can also be reached at: sylvie.rousseau@gmail.com and main_cat@hotmail.com.
