New friendships forged
Julie, Mara and Kori.
We all rely on our personal connections to help us feel like we belong in community. In Vancouver, loneliness has been identified as one of the key issues for self-advocates. Many find it hard to meet people, or if they do, to sustain the relationships.
Mara St. Onge, a Vancouver Community Council member, is a social activist who took the challenge head on. Mara has a keen and personal interest in helping self-advocates connect. She has been a homeshare provider for two women – Julie and Kori – for over 10 years.
It was Mara’s role as a fundraising chair at the Langara Family YMCA that helped spark a solution that truly reflects what can happen when community partners work together. Mara developed and created the “Chill Mixer”, an event that provides a venue for self-advocates to connect with new people. The YMCA agreed to provide the space, be the contact for RSVPs, and help publicize the opportunity. Julie and Kori helped with all aspects of organizing and helping out at the event. Council members and CLBC staff helped circulate the information to their networks. Mara also found help in unexpected places. Office Depot, after hearing what she was doing, charged her a fraction of the cost to photocopy the event flyers.
After several months of development, the first “Chill Mixer” was held on August 19, with Mara, Julie and Kori hosting a group of 11 self-advocates from Burnaby, Tsawwassen and Vancouver. Since networking with new people can sometimes be intimidating, Mara had people begin by playing a meeting game. In this game, each person writes their name, contact information and interests on a slip of paper and passes it to the person on their left. The game continues until everyone has shared their information with all the people in the room. These slips of paper then become an address book to keep and use. At the Mixer, this game was followed by other games, laughter, snacks, dancing and pizza, which was a big hit. Feedback from participants included: “This was a great idea!”, “Looking forward to getting a note or a call”, and “This helped me feel less lonely.”
“I wanted to give self-advocates one night to get together to grow their connections,” said Mara. “I also wanted people to see that organizing this type of event is possible, and that it can create and sustain relationships.”
Mara is now working on putting lessons learned, her experience organizing the event, and the tools she used into a booklet that can be shared with others who are interested in holding a “Chill Mixer” in their area. As follow-up, she is also sending each participant a postcard as a reminder to connect with someone in their address book.
“It’s great! I know some people have already received calls,” said Mara.
If you are interested in holding a “Chill Mixer” in your community, contact Mara St. Onge at 604 842-9220 or marastonge@telus.net.
