Striving to make a positive impact

“I believe that everybody deserves the opportunity to learn and to grow as human beings regardless of the barriers and personal life circumstances that they are facing.” – Phillip Retief

by Phillip Retief (Chilliwack)

My early life philosophies

I am a person with Cerebral Palsy living in the Fraser Valley. Yet, my story does not begin here. It begins in Pretoria, South Africa where I was born along with my twin brother and my oldest brother.

My parents love for us was only exceeded by their desire to see my brothers and I become successful, holistic men. As a result, they constantly pushed me towards excellence in everything I did and saw my disability as nothing more than a logistical consideration. Like putting gas in your car before driving from Chilliwack to Vancouver. This philosophy would eventually pay me dividends because all logistics can be solved with a bit of head scratching and innovation.

The second philosophy that I learned is how to accept your lot in life without being defeated by it. This was most elegantly explained to me by my South African black friend Monty. He taught me a common Zulu phrase which translates into English as, “Do not shy away from working to improve your lot in life. But do it with an open heart and always banish bitterness from your soul.”

Thinking of my friend’s advice helped me during this pandemic with staying positive and embracing what I do have. Often, people think a lot about the future but don’t take time to focus on the present. The pandemic has forced us to do that; to live in the moment, to enjoy what we have and look at the positive things we can do in that moment.

The third philosophy I learned is, in my family the name of the game is “keep up, not catch up.” This led me to feed off my own success as well as my brothers’ success whilst always striving for greater heights.

My final philosophy is the “Bull’s-eye” philosophy. This is a metaphor I use to live my life to the fullest with my disability. Simply explained, I do not put my disability in the centre of the bull’s-eye, I put it on the most outer ring. As a result, my focus is not on my disability but things that make me uniquely “me” as a person. This allows me to live my life as a person with a disability rather than a disabled person.

Journey from humble beginnings to fortunate present

I immigrated from South Africa to Canada in 2006 with my family in hopes of pursuing a more fulfilling and successful life in Canada. My struggles however were far from over because I was diagnosed with severe dyslexia when I came to Canada. This makes it impossible for me to read and write without the use of assistive technologies.

I also was an immigrant with a physical disability. Living in between the margins like this was challenging at the best of times and soul destroying at the worst. Fortunately, I was armed with an extremely supportive family and my life philosophies from Africa. Therefore, I was resolved to meet and exceed any challenge that was placed before me and as a result I went to school and graduated high school with distinction.

Once I completed high school, I attended the University of the Fraser Valley (UFV) and this year I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree with a Major in psychology and a Minor in sociology. With a positive attitude, willingness to learn and an open heart I was also able to forge many great friendships with my peers.

In addition, from a practical perspective, being able to use technology did help a lot during this pandemic. I was able to pursue my education without having to be in person, to stay connected with my friends, and even to celebrate my graduation virtually. Having a supportive family helped me a lot as well.

For the next steps on my career journey, I am planning to complete the Bachelor of Education post-degree program at UFV. Then, once I receive my qualification as a teacher, I will pursue a Masters degree in School Counselling.

I also received the opportunity to volunteer and to work as a student at UFV and most recently I was able to move into my own apartment and live completely independently.

When I am not working on my career as a school counsellor, I love to be physically active and enjoy the outdoors. I love biking, walks on the trails, working outside in the garden, skiing and spending time with my amazing friends and family.

Finally, I have a deep passion for advocating for people with disabilities because of my personal experiences with living as a person with a disability. I believe that everybody deserves the opportunity to learn and to grow as human beings regardless of the barriers and personal life circumstances they are facing. Serving as a member of the Upper Fraser Community Council has been one way for me to live this passion of advocating for others. My hope is that this story helps at least one person to live a fulfilling life regardless of their abilities.


People of the Valley

Phillip’s story is part of a series being created by the CLBC Upper Fraser Community Council to share the stories of self advocates in the Fraser Valley communities.

Stay tuned to the Council’s webpage over the coming months for updates.


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